Write-Tings!

by Gemma-Marie Everest

1.     Throw the diet out of the window! Gaining a few pounds and embracing our natural bodies means that men run to the hills as if Godzilla’s just hit town.

2.     Being funnier than a guy will KILL HIM. Having more wit and more charm is like an auto-deflate button for a guy’s ego. So brush up on your punch-lines and impressions to really press that button.

3.     At any fancy-dress opportunity (Halloween, birthdays, new-year’s-eve) choose funny over sexy. Nowadays it seems that the only accepted fancy dress for women is Sexy-this and Sexy-that. Don’t conform! Go for the funniest home-made costume with endless fake blood, glitter and face/body paint!

4.     Long hair is favoured over short hair in a man’s world (probably so because short equals ‘boy ‘). So go for that drastic chop and get the in-season Elven crop you’ve wanted to try since for-ever!

5.     Nothing turns a guy off more than a woman being more successful than him. Get a degree, run a business, get promoted, do something successful and brilliant that will make him shrink back with his tail between his legs.

6.     Be more cultured. Guys like their ladies a little ‘fluffy’. It’s cute, it makes them feel important to tell their little lady about literature and philosophy. Turn around and tell him that you think Oscar Wilde is a literary genius and why and watch him go from big-head to pea-brain.